Just say yes

My phone rings. Not the right time for bad news, but there are no better times either.
Saturday and abstract. 
What is love, exactly?  How people know that 'the one' will come at the right time? Mystery.
We're all so busy and wrapped up in our own things, but when does it ever just settle down?
If only the condition was not embellished by ego and arrogant, even lies or high expectation, it should have been easy.

After in trouble last night, I talked to him this afternoon. Everything we did, all of the mistakes was, the conclusion is we just need to say yes.  "We should love, not fall in love. because something that fall, will be break oneday." If you love her/him, just tell them.
Does love need a strong foundation, or is it the foundation we had been looking for?

"Absolute silence that followed...the dim light that came from the sun, blocked by our planet...Earth...looking just as gorgeous as it always was"

Ya, just say yes....

Ketika aku lupa bagaimana cara mencintai anda, aku harap anda membenturkan kepala ini hingga nanti aku tersadar kembali. hingga aku bisa mengingat kembali bagaimana awal aku belajar mencintai anda.

Try

If you are anything less than conforming, you don’t belong here. 

who do you love? 

what do you love? 

Everyone goes through some kind of struggle. 

My next life I only want to love one person. 

If that person doesn’t love me, it doesn’t matter, I won’t bother. 

not ignored her
don't yell at her
don't waste the presence of her who loves you

someone told me 
Jika suatu hari kamu ingin mengakhiri ini semua,
renungkanlah..
ada kelelahan yang tak dapat kita sembunyikan dalam menjalaninya, tapi akan ada penyesalan yang terukir pasti dan juga tenaga yang terkuras habis apabila suatu saat nanti kita memutuskan berjalan sendiri.

How often we chase the wrong things in life, the things that once felt right. As you know, but as time goes by, you began to wonder if it really was meant for you, if it was really just a dream you're living in.

Being away from someone for helped me find the answers.  

What I want. 

What I need. 

Who I have to pour my heart to. 

"then, should we look another when someone who makes me happy obviously  stands in front of my eyes?" -Siska's Bf told us

That is how long my heart has belonged to yours. 

In those days I have grown to love you with a love I never knew possible. 

 I love just how his eyes light up when he told me about what he likes and maybe that's what caught my heart for the first time.

Do you remember the way we fall in love?

There can be no love without coincidence. 

how do people actually learn anything being protected this way? 

Life's always give and take, sometimes it takes many times to understood. 

Apologize, hate, forgetting, moving on,falling in love again, drifting apart and falling all over again. God created human with feelings. and... that's love.

Indeed your presence comforts me, but you never know....

Ibu

Bu... maafin adek ya... Maaf kalau biaya kuliah banyak merepotkan. Maaf juga adek tidak bisa menjadi dokter seperti apa yang bapak dan ibuk inginkan. Doakan Nova sukses bu, rejeki dan petunjuk di tangan Alloh. Nova berusaha, dan akan terus berusaha. Bu, 20 tahun, Nova belum bisa kasih apa-apa buat ibuk. cerita atau mimpi yang Nova ukir tiba-tiba berubah alur semenjak 9 bulan yang lalu.
Bu... adek bukannya cengeng, tapi terkadang ini berat sekali.
Bu... terima kasih... untuk kesabaran dan jerih payahmu. Nova sayang ibuk....

KKN

The End of September

Thanks Allah for unfailing love. Goodness gracious I'm so blessed.

Thanks Daddy, to give me the meaning of life.

Thanks Mom, to give me strength to face this beautiful world.

Things have leveled out in last grade. It's still hard, but we're getting there. Family, friends, him, they are on my side and it's cute to see them stick up for me.

  It's been quite the learning process for us all.

 "When change is constant and there isn't much good consistency in life, it's important to see the happiness in things." Ashley said. 

I took a day trip to Klaten over dry season because I wanna see my daddy's grave. 

I miss him a lot. Been a long time, I though.

January, february, march, april, may, june, july, august, and september.

All the seating inside is the grave and tombstone just like we had in our story.

Aku rindu... Bapak....

To Mother

There are too many things I would like to talk about you, mama.

We are going to have so many stories to write about. I was born from your womb. Could I feel the pain, in another day?

What I could remember from you were not much but mostly memories of us together, smiling, holding each other’s fingers, preparing breakfast. 

Not even once a fight, not even behind me nor in front of me. The two people that are very much in love with each other. 

Mama, thank you for your love.

"ねぇ
幸せ　よ
たぶん
あたし

あなたが
居たんだから "

"Hey…
I’m happy
Probably
Because

I had you

With me"

You are the only, only one for me. Think of those young and early days how I've changed along the way. 

It's only you and me now. That is the only thing that matters.  

Maaf jika pernah berucap kasar padamu. Jika Surga ada di telapak kakimu, aku berharap itu adalah tempat terakhir aku bersandar.

Words

29 Mei 2012.

Hey, si anak cungkring yang sering memanggil saya dengan sebutan 'rebek' itu bertambah usia. 

Yang keberapa? (intinya umurnya semakin berkurang)

Sampai detik ini, dimana dia mengirim SMS dengan menanyakan lagi ngapain dan sudah mengerjakan tugas Kinetik atau belum, saya secara langsung belum mengucapkan "selamat ulang tahun, sahabatku"

Ingin rasanya membalas kebaikannya sewaktu dia memberikan surprise di hari ulang tahunku bersama sahabatku yang lain. (tentunya Anisa dan Tiara).

Bahkan ide untuk SMS tengah malam pun tidak saya lakukan. 

Tepat 12:00 am, saya yang masih terbangun dan dengan betul mengingat hari ulang tahunnya, tidak mengucapkan apapun.

:) Sempat kemarin terbesit nyuekin sahabatku ini. Tapi ternyata gagal. Tidak peka. Ya, atau mungkin saya yang keseringan cuek, makanya gagal. Mengucapkan lewat media sosial dengan menuliskan kata "lupa" juga tidak dihiraukannya. Atau mungkin ucapanku tidak penting? 

Itu... rahasia dia dan Tuhan.

Entah, saya harus melakukan apa untuk membalas kebaikannya. Dia juga menjadi teman pertama yang mau menyapaku semasa OSPEK. Saya yang dulu cungkring, hitam dan super culun, juga tidak dihiraukannya. Semasa perkuliahan di awal semester, dialah yang selalu menjemput ketika saya tidak memiliki kendaraan untuk ke kampus. 

Terima kasih ya car. 

Untukmu :

Car, selamat ulang tahun ya. Maaf, aku ingin memberikanmu kue ulang tahun yang mungkin harganya tidak mahal dan rasanya seperti kue jadi-jadian. Tapi aku tidak jadi memberikannya karena kamu sudah punya kue ulang tahun sendiri. Dan sampai sekarang secara lisan ataupun pesan singkat, aku belum mengucapkan selamat ulang tahun. 

Aku bingung harus bilang apa. Aku juga bingung harus mulai darimana. Tapi insayaAllah aku selalu mendoakan atas kesuksesanmu, kesuksesan teman-teman yang lain dan kesuksesan kita. 

Semoga jika di kehidupan mendatang aku dihidupkan menjadi pribadi yang lain dan kamu juga, aku akan membalas kebaikanmu, dan juga teman-teman yang lain. 

Selamat ulang tahun, sahabatku....

Latest

Extremely worried. Still can't understand people share their happiness with another for other. You can never really know what a person feels like, until you become the person to experience what it feels like. It was very jealous to see or hear a friend who is always on call by his father. Either receive a text message or call from their father.  

Live almost 4 months without hearing his voice made ​​me very down. I'm not giving up, just feel something is missing. Don't you know? You see, everything I could think of today has reminded me of you. Your voice. Your scent. Your attention to the little details. And the reasonable explanation for this phenomenon is only the fact that I’ve been missing you heaps.

Body could have been lost, tapi dia, ya, dia, suaranya, masih akan tetap ada di sini, di hati.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware. Even November last year, he took time to see me just to say happy birthday. Stayed at my boardinghouse. Prayer. and just took me around the market looking for breakfast. How could him?

I don’t need to know that You're leaving. But since You do, all I want to do is just to spend the rest of the time You have left before You go, with me. We will be a part anyway, like we have always been. You're a Captain and me, your dearest daughter, a kid with her balloons.

Bapak, Selamat ulang tahun....

These Day

For him, for her, and for us...

Me, the little one, the dearest daughter of her father

Everything happens for a reason

There comes a time when we finally realize that everything falls perfectly together

In peaces

You've lost the sight of who you love

Some things changes

But a lot can stay the same

It's still hard, to forget the memories

When change is constant and there isn't much good consistency in life

It's important to see the happiness in things

Daddy, I miss you. A lot....

I had a really good and hard things for 3 months, dad

Yesterday, I study hard. Today, I studied, either tomorrow

She is a pearl, who really misses her daddy

His voice

His love...

God, tell him that his dearest daughter really missing him 

January, 23rd 2012

January, 23rd 2012. I've lost a little piece of me and found myself whole with you. Its not about just one thing, but the whole thing. Missing the person, who really really really I loved. In your presence that was absent. He has gone, for a long time, and wondering to go to Heaven. 

Everyone have those moments.  
All men fear death. It's a natural fear that consumes us all. We fear death because we feel that we haven't loved well enough or loved at all, which ultimately are one and the same.
Come to pass, ya, its you. 

Endings always come too fast. They come too fast. And they pass too slow.

You just said that you'll back to this town, put some "misses" things and blew it with your dearest daughter.. May, ya.. That's your promise. In reality, you bring it up to your "100 days" . Don't you remember?


I used to go out with you for the sake of going out with you. Now it's different. Now I look forward to seeing you. I can't feel you, or touched up by your voice on the telephone. :( how I miss you, dad... How I miss you. 


There's no goodbye in a single way, right? I know you are happy there... 
I miss you.